guy0680

I am a 20 year old guy and am very, very confused about my sexuality. I would consider myself bisexual (roughly maybe 60% gay and 40% straight). However the things that I am attracted to/unattractive to lead me to be confused about my orientation. I only find certain penis's and vagina's attractive, some I will look at and get turned on, while others will disgust me. I also find the "input" (I don't know how graphic I can get on this site) for gay sex gross. The girls I am attracted to are perfect "Barbie" doll girls, but I am more lenient on men.

So far my only sexual experiences have been with girls, however it was difficult getting aroused for them. I can't be sure if this was because of the sex of my partner...or by the fact that I was drunk the first time I hooked up with a girl (and perhaps impaired my arousal?)...and the proceeding times I was very worried and thinking about not being able to get up (even thinking of a guy, to see if that worked, did nothing). So I'm not sure if my problem is that I am gay or if its because of my worrying. Any suggestions?

Recently a gay male around the same age of me started at my work. I assume he is out, but just doesn't broadcast it, but I can tell he is, and from looking at his MySpace I am almost positive. I have quickly developed a crush on him, but I am not sure if its just because he is gay and (for the lack of a better word) "there" or if I really have feelings (I have only known him a short while and don't know him well).

Another problem is that I couldn't see myself coming out because my family and most of the people I know aren't very tolerant of homosexuality. I think my parents know but block it out/pretend they don't know. They have found gay porn on my computer. (I have both gay and straight porn)

Does anyone have any advice, input or comments on my crazy sexual identity lol?? Any would be helpful and appreciated.