Bulvox

If I were to come out and my bestfriend didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, does that make them a bad friend? What do you think?

Adrastus

Not really, i mean they were just so closed to you, if the idea of you being gay may freak them out. They will also think "damn this guy probably had fantasies of me" and stuff like that.. which will freak them out even more. Give them time, they'll come over it, make sure you talk to them reassure him stuff like that. But if they just want to toss the friendship out the window so easily, then yeah.. he probably wasn't all that anyways.

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Never argue with idiots, in the end they will just beat you with their experience.

Bulvox

See he is a good friend though, he has done stuff to prove that. He has taken the blame for stuff, that he did with me but it made me look like I did it all. I mean he is a really good friend. I know that he wouldn't want to have anything to do with me if I did come out. That's why I don't want to come out, I want to be able to have guy friends, not just all girl friends. I want to be accepted as much as everyone else. It just frustrates me so much.

Mike

Who said being gay was easy?

Maybe you could change him .. carefully talk about gay topics .. and test the waters? Be careful though, if he suspects you're gay too early .. game over.

I was so scared what would happen when my older brother found out about me. Growing up, he would always give me shit and act like I was gay, so I was really defensive of it. He accepted it instantly, and was actually really cool about the whole thing. It was the total opposite of what I was expecting.

What makes you think he wouldn't want to have anything to do with you? (you know, and a really great defense to anyone who hates you after you tell them .. is "if I didn't say anything .. you would of never known .. so why hate me for it?")

Adrastus

yeah try asking him, "what would you do if so and so was gay?" or.. Bahaha gay people, what a drag, they seem like "ok" people though. Stuff like that i did that with a few of my friends, they don't really care.

Mind you the majority of my friends are girls and are dying for a gay guy to come along so they can "shop" with him. HAHA! shopping.. pffft ya right! I hate the mall. Ahah anyways. Try talking to him, like casually bring up the topic.. ahah see how it goes, he may suprise you.

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Never argue with idiots, in the end they will just beat you with their experience.

kryptkeeper51

yes it does make him a bad friend. i can understand someone being a little shocked or wierded out at first but if they stop being friends with you because of it then, well that's just bullshit.

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" Life is a Beautiful Disease"

Dan

How are you so sure he would renounce you if you came out? Maybe he seems harsher on gays having no idea you are. Maybe you should try to let in on bit by bit, and if he is not taking things well stop before its too late. i don't think it necessarily makes him a bad friend, but the best you could have.

It frustrates me too how a person can like you just fine, and even though you don't change at all, just the fact that they know your gay and they won't talk to you anymore.

Bulvox

EXACTLY. Just two words, I'm gay, can change their how outlook on you.

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Matt Rools You

I think the responsibility lies on you to be true to your friends. If they cannot or will not look past your sexual orientation to see you as the person you always were, it speaks a lot about them.

Put yourself in your friend's shoes. Would you rather your friend keep a secret from you, or have them tell all and be truthful with you?

Mike

Which is why you need to ask yourself .. are they really your friend? Or someone that each other uses?

A real friend wouldn't care ..

baralaius

no it makes them a crap friend
everyone knows you can be gay and stuff its not like unherd of anymore
if they are really your friends then it wont change anything
im jsut lucky enough to have friends like that but i know some people dont

Dr. Oldsmobile

As someone has mentioned earlier in this thread being gay is certainly not easy. With that being said you need to really take things slow and gradually get your friend used to the idea that you are gay. Coming out suddenly may be too much of a shock for him, and you need to give him time to get used to the idea that even though you are gay that you are not any different prior to coming out. Homosexuality is a very touchy subject as a result of cultural mores, societal pressures, and religious beliefs. Your friend is not a bad person if he freaks out because our upbringing makes us who we are, and if homosexuality is something that was ingrained within him to looked on as being bad, then you can't suddenly come out to him. Sooner or later he is going to figure out that you are gay, but just continue to be his good friend no matter what. Like he cannot impose his beliefs upon you, you certainly cannot do the same on him. Above all else you need to emphasize that you are friends no matter how you work biologically and that friendship doesn't imply that you want to do anything with him sexually.

04davjac

well,
if they disown you for being honest with them and it was a true friendship they arent worth your time in my opinion

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The man in my avatar is not me! He is Geoff Lloyd from The Geoff Show: www.virginradio.co.uk/geoff

Czaro

Dr. Oldsmobile is right, you need to take it slowly. Your friend might seem that he does not want to do anything with a gay person, but you don't really know how he'll react if you came out to him. Your friend will find out sooner or later, but remain a true friend to him. If he is mature and understanding, he will not dump your friendship. If he is shocked by the news, give him some time to settle and realize that you are still the same person throughout this time, despite not knowing your sexual orientation.

When I came out to my friends, I had different reactions. One was understanding and didn't mind, but the other was shocked (he is conservative in that respect), however he eventually came around. You need to talk to your friend about your sexual orientation; clarify and assure and then reassure things with him.

Lil Boi Is SexyX

I say yes because friends are supposed to be there for you no matter what. But you should also give them them time to come around if they decide not to be you're friend.