Advice on gay crush's/flirting

guy0680 · 06-22-2008, 10:28 AM

Hey I'm back again with some more questions for all of you. Thank you for the responses that I got on my last post here, they were all really helpful and I appreciate it. If your new to my situation, my old post is located HERE

My question this time is about having a gay crush/flirting. This is my first real crush on a guy and I don't know how to react or flirt. We both know each other is gay but are both closeted. We are almost playing a game trying to get the other to slip up and admit it. He has been choosing his words very carefully to describe past relationships, leaving out "Hims", "Hers", "She", "He" etc.. But we each have each made statements to each other that we suspect each other but neither will make the first move.

I asked him the other day if his eye color was real or if he wore colored contacts. He instead told me a story (very carefully and slowly to leave out the sex of the partner I noticed) about how he had been told in the past that his eyes get bluer when he orgasms. Is this flirting/trying to get me interested in sex with him??

My normal response (if a girl had told me that) would have been a corny joke like "oh yeah when are you going to prove it?" or something along the lines, but I didn't because that would have outed me. I instead said "Oh really? We'll thats pretty bad when your eyes are the only thing that they were interested in during it" and winked at him. He smiled/laughed and said "Oh yeah, thats what you think."

Does anyone have any advice on whether that is flirting or not? And any advice on the "game" we are having trying to get the other to slip up?

iop92 · 06-22-2008, 10:50 AM

Sounds like flirting to me, but you can wait for the experts

Advice about the game? Seems to be going quite well, and you're playing it well.

guy0680 · 06-22-2008, 10:54 AM

I also always joke about how if I was in charge of the firing/hiring of people at our work I'd fire half the place and hiring hot people to replace them, he asked "Oh well I'd still have a job right?" and I joked back "No, I said only hot people would be employed", he laughed. (My sense of humor is sort of "insulting"/"Joking" with people, you can tell that I like you (as a friend/crush) if I pick on you)

iop92 · 06-22-2008, 11:00 AM

It's a fine sort of humor (hey, I use it too). Just flow with the stream, eh? Play the game.

guy0680 · 06-22-2008, 11:05 AM

Unfortunately one of the things I am worried about too is there is talk secretly around the store (I know because I am usually contributing to the gossip/rumor mill) that he is gay, something he denies (I know he is)....but I don't want to blatantly flirt with him in front of people to A) Out myself or B) Confirm the rumors because he seems to not want people to know

iop92 · 06-22-2008, 11:09 AM

Do you have to do it in the store? Instant Messaging can be good for this... (Just raising ideas)

guy0680 · 06-22-2008, 11:14 AM

Yeah, thats what I was thinking too, I messaged him on MySpace, just about something random about work, hoping to spark a communication online, getting his AIM etc.. I definitely think the "coming out" to him and stuff would be 100% easier online

iop92 · 06-22-2008, 11:15 AM

Try it. I always use IM when I need to do a serious conversation, 'cause I can never stay serious too long in real life

Never did with boys (well, yet), but with girls it did the trick.

guy0680 · 06-24-2008, 10:32 AM

I am working with him the next few days (I took an extra shift so I could see him :awesome

...Hopefully something will happen during the next few days...

guy0680 · 06-25-2008, 01:24 AM

I'm going crazy inside my head going "am I talking to him too much?" "am I not talking to him enough?" "should I tell more jokes?" "should I say this or that?"

I'm driving myself crazy haha...I'm so confused anxious, excited, scared, afraid (of rejection).....I don't know....I don't want to seem like a "clinger" to him or not interested so I don't know how to go along with this!!

We don't get that much alone time at work so its hard to talk about anything private. I have messaged him through myspace (I dont know his AIM, e-mail etc) about some random work stuff to hopefully start an online communciation, but he hasnt been on myspace yet. I don't even know 100% if he knows I'm interested or gay

I will have the house to myself next week and want to try to invite him over to hang out, drink etc. I can't say "I'm having people over, you should stop by, you can bring friends if you want." Because I can't have any of my friends there (Im closeted). So is it weird to invite him and his friends over?? Help!! lol
guy0680 is online now Report Post Edit/Delete Message

iop92 · 06-25-2008, 04:21 AM

Heh, I guess that happens to everyone. You probably need to relax, he's probably asking himself the same questions.

You give yourself the answers: your idea is great, you should invite him and tell him that, see what comes out of it.

guy0680 · 06-26-2008, 04:33 PM

Working with him tonight...wish me luck...

guy0680 · 06-26-2008, 10:11 PM

....I don't even know where to begin, I don't even know what happened tonight...This is definitely going to be a long post...

Towards the beginning of the shift he nodded hi from afar and didn't come see me all night (I couldn't leave where I was working, he could roam), so of course my mind was in over drive (Is he mad at me? Does he know I like him and its freaking him out? Is he angry at someone else? Is he just in a bad mood?)

Finally towards the end of the night he came over and I asked him if he was in a bad mood and he said he wasn't and we talked briefly and he left again. He came back and asked me to help him with something that he was doing, (which I of course loved). So we did that and talked and joked.

While we were working, I slipped in that I was going to have the house to myself next week and he asked if I was going to be throwing any parties, and I said I might and asked him if he wanted me to let him know when/if I did. He said yes (didn't seem totally uninterested or excited...so take that for what its worth).

So we were working and a co-worker walked by and (I don't even know what the hell was going on) was just repeating "Twinkies, Twinkle...so on and so on" so he turns to me and goes "Twinks?" and winks at me and laughs (This leads me to believe that he definitely knows/thinks I'm gay too...but I'll go back to that later)

So for the rest of the time we were working he keep smiling at me and doing cute faces and stuff which I was eating up. Then he dropped a bombshell on me that pretty much was like a ton of bricks, "I can't wait I have a hot date tonight"....I want to die right then and there but I decide to at least try and get some of the details

I asked him where he was going and he named a town, thats 45 minutes from where we were (it was like 9:00 at the time). I asked who the special "person" was (remember we both are still not revealing that we are gay to each other, I was hoping that he would have come out to me and talked about guy but he didn't)....He told me that he was going to a "party" in _______(the town) and that there would be hot girls there (Yeah I guess he isn't coming out to me yet!) but it was just going to be like 5 people (him, another guy (his real date?) and three girls) and that alot of alcohol was going to be there.

He went on to say that he would probably stay the night and that "I knew what that means"...but I wasn't sure if that meant he was going to get black out drunk or hook up. I hope it was the latter!!! I wanted nothing more in the world to be invited!! He said that he loves a good party, so I brought up my house again as we were leaving and asked again if he wanted me to let him know if anything was going to be going on, and he said yeah but once again didn't sound negative or positive to the idea.

So to wrap my horrible night up:
1) The "twink" comment/joke lead me to believe that he knows/suspects I'm gay because I don't think straight guys joke about that
2) His "date" according to him was with a girl...?
3) His "date" morphed into a group drinking get-together as far as I can tell

Was the date talk or anything to get my jealous?? Why didn't he show any positive or negative feelings about drinking over my place?? I'm so confused and frusteratedddddddd

What do you guys think I should do about inviting him (and his friends?) over my house??? If I tell him to call me to come over and he never does that will be another crushing blow, so I just don't know what to do.

I don't work with him again till Saturay (When I told him I'd tell him about Saturday night) so I know (unless he goes online and I get to talk to him) that I am going to be driven crazy and be upset about this till I see him again....

guy0680 · 06-26-2008, 10:48 PM

PS. This is going to make me look insane, but I just finished going through all of his friends that are from that town he said he was going two (two of them are from there) and both of them are gay and really goodlooking

...a hell of a lot better than me which makes me feel that he couldn't find me physically attractive

Jamd · 06-27-2008, 01:20 AM

OK, don't find this weird but i'm hooked on this gay novela called your life!
maybe he told you about the date to see how you would react eg. jealous, etc.
hehe, do straight guys even know what twinks are?
omg!
are you a 'twink'?
cause maybe he finds them hot and was singing that to you.
omg!
keep me updated!

06-22-2008, 10:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	Advice on gay crush's/flirting Hey I'm back again with some more questions for all of you. Thank you for the responses that I got on my last post here, they were all really helpful and I appreciate it. If your new to my situation, my old post is located HERE My question this time is about having a gay crush/flirting. This is my first real crush on a guy and I don't know how to react or flirt. We both know each other is gay but are both closeted. We are almost playing a game trying to get the other to slip up and admit it. He has been choosing his words very carefully to describe past relationships, leaving out "Hims", "Hers", "She", "He" etc.. But we each have each made statements to each other that we suspect each other but neither will make the first move. I asked him the other day if his eye color was real or if he wore colored contacts. He instead told me a story (very carefully and slowly to leave out the sex of the partner I noticed) about how he had been told in the past that his eyes get bluer when he orgasms. Is this flirting/trying to get me interested in sex with him?? My normal response (if a girl had told me that) would have been a corny joke like "oh yeah when are you going to prove it?" or something along the lines, but I didn't because that would have outed me. I instead said "Oh really? We'll thats pretty bad when your eyes are the only thing that they were interested in during it" and winked at him. He smiled/laughed and said "Oh yeah, thats what you think." Does anyone have any advice on whether that is flirting or not? And any advice on the "game" we are having trying to get the other to slip up?

06-24-2008, 10:32 AM	#9 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	I am working with him the next few days (I took an extra shift so I could see him :awesome...Hopefully something will happen during the next few days...

06-27-2008, 01:20 AM	#15 (permalink)
Jamd Official GTF Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Africa Gender: Posts: 145	OK, don't find this weird but i'm hooked on this gay novela called your life! maybe he told you about the date to see how you would react eg. jealous, etc. hehe, do straight guys even know what twinks are? omg! are you a 'twink'? cause maybe he finds them hot and was singing that to you. omg! keep me updated! __________________ a man that smiles when something goes wrong has thought of someone to blame it on

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06-22-2008, 10:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
iop92 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Israel Age: 16 Posts: 132	Sounds like flirting to me, but you can wait for the experts Advice about the game? Seems to be going quite well, and you're playing it well.

06-22-2008, 10:54 AM	#3 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	I also always joke about how if I was in charge of the firing/hiring of people at our work I'd fire half the place and hiring hot people to replace them, he asked "Oh well I'd still have a job right?" and I joked back "No, I said only hot people would be employed", he laughed. (My sense of humor is sort of "insulting"/"Joking" with people, you can tell that I like you (as a friend/crush) if I pick on you)

06-22-2008, 11:00 AM	#4 (permalink)
iop92 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Israel Age: 16 Posts: 132	It's a fine sort of humor (hey, I use it too). Just flow with the stream, eh? Play the game.

06-22-2008, 11:05 AM	#5 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	Unfortunately one of the things I am worried about too is there is talk secretly around the store (I know because I am usually contributing to the gossip/rumor mill) that he is gay, something he denies (I know he is)....but I don't want to blatantly flirt with him in front of people to A) Out myself or B) Confirm the rumors because he seems to not want people to know

06-22-2008, 11:09 AM	#6 (permalink)
iop92 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Israel Age: 16 Posts: 132	Do you have to do it in the store? Instant Messaging can be good for this... (Just raising ideas)

06-22-2008, 11:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	Yeah, thats what I was thinking too, I messaged him on MySpace, just about something random about work, hoping to spark a communication online, getting his AIM etc.. I definitely think the "coming out" to him and stuff would be 100% easier online

06-22-2008, 11:15 AM	#8 (permalink)
iop92 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Israel Age: 16 Posts: 132	Try it. I always use IM when I need to do a serious conversation, 'cause I can never stay serious too long in real life Never did with boys (well, yet), but with girls it did the trick.

06-25-2008, 01:24 AM	#10 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	I'm going crazy inside my head going "am I talking to him too much?" "am I not talking to him enough?" "should I tell more jokes?" "should I say this or that?" I'm driving myself crazy haha...I'm so confused anxious, excited, scared, afraid (of rejection).....I don't know....I don't want to seem like a "clinger" to him or not interested so I don't know how to go along with this!! We don't get that much alone time at work so its hard to talk about anything private. I have messaged him through myspace (I dont know his AIM, e-mail etc) about some random work stuff to hopefully start an online communciation, but he hasnt been on myspace yet. I don't even know 100% if he knows I'm interested or gay I will have the house to myself next week and want to try to invite him over to hang out, drink etc. I can't say "I'm having people over, you should stop by, you can bring friends if you want." Because I can't have any of my friends there (Im closeted). So is it weird to invite him and his friends over?? Help!! lol guy0680 is online now Report Post Edit/Delete Message

06-25-2008, 04:21 AM	#11 (permalink)
iop92 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Israel Age: 16 Posts: 132	Heh, I guess that happens to everyone. You probably need to relax, he's probably asking himself the same questions. You give yourself the answers: your idea is great, you should invite him and tell him that, see what comes out of it.

06-26-2008, 04:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	Working with him tonight...wish me luck...

06-26-2008, 10:11 PM	#13 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	....I don't even know where to begin, I don't even know what happened tonight...This is definitely going to be a long post... Towards the beginning of the shift he nodded hi from afar and didn't come see me all night (I couldn't leave where I was working, he could roam), so of course my mind was in over drive (Is he mad at me? Does he know I like him and its freaking him out? Is he angry at someone else? Is he just in a bad mood?) Finally towards the end of the night he came over and I asked him if he was in a bad mood and he said he wasn't and we talked briefly and he left again. He came back and asked me to help him with something that he was doing, (which I of course loved). So we did that and talked and joked. While we were working, I slipped in that I was going to have the house to myself next week and he asked if I was going to be throwing any parties, and I said I might and asked him if he wanted me to let him know when/if I did. He said yes (didn't seem totally uninterested or excited...so take that for what its worth). So we were working and a co-worker walked by and (I don't even know what the hell was going on) was just repeating "Twinkies, Twinkle...so on and so on" so he turns to me and goes "Twinks?" and winks at me and laughs (This leads me to believe that he definitely knows/thinks I'm gay too...but I'll go back to that later) So for the rest of the time we were working he keep smiling at me and doing cute faces and stuff which I was eating up. Then he dropped a bombshell on me that pretty much was like a ton of bricks, "I can't wait I have a hot date tonight"....I want to die right then and there but I decide to at least try and get some of the details I asked him where he was going and he named a town, thats 45 minutes from where we were (it was like 9:00 at the time). I asked who the special "person" was (remember we both are still not revealing that we are gay to each other, I was hoping that he would have come out to me and talked about guy but he didn't)....He told me that he was going to a "party" in _______(the town) and that there would be hot girls there (Yeah I guess he isn't coming out to me yet!) but it was just going to be like 5 people (him, another guy (his real date?) and three girls) and that alot of alcohol was going to be there. He went on to say that he would probably stay the night and that "I knew what that means"...but I wasn't sure if that meant he was going to get black out drunk or hook up. I hope it was the latter!!! I wanted nothing more in the world to be invited!! He said that he loves a good party, so I brought up my house again as we were leaving and asked again if he wanted me to let him know if anything was going to be going on, and he said yeah but once again didn't sound negative or positive to the idea. So to wrap my horrible night up: 1) The "twink" comment/joke lead me to believe that he knows/suspects I'm gay because I don't think straight guys joke about that 2) His "date" according to him was with a girl...? 3) His "date" morphed into a group drinking get-together as far as I can tell Was the date talk or anything to get my jealous?? Why didn't he show any positive or negative feelings about drinking over my place?? I'm so confused and frusteratedddddddd What do you guys think I should do about inviting him (and his friends?) over my house??? If I tell him to call me to come over and he never does that will be another crushing blow, so I just don't know what to do. I don't work with him again till Saturay (When I told him I'd tell him about Saturday night) so I know (unless he goes online and I get to talk to him) that I am going to be driven crazy and be upset about this till I see him again....

06-26-2008, 10:48 PM	#14 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	PS. This is going to make me look insane, but I just finished going through all of his friends that are from that town he said he was going two (two of them are from there) and both of them are gay and really goodlooking ...a hell of a lot better than me which makes me feel that he couldn't find me physically attractive