How Should I Go About This?

guy0680 · 07-27-2008, 01:32 AM

If you read my other thread you may know that I have recently come out to another gay person, with whom I'm in the process of getting to know.

What I would really love to do is get him out of work (where there is no alone time) and to "have him to myself" to just talk to him about him, me, being gay, questions etc..

How do I ask him to do that? Tell him just what I said above??

I really don't care if we sit in his living room, sit in a park, talking while hes folding his laundry, etc. haha I just want to get to know him a little better.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm asking him out on a date though, because he has a boyfriend (that's another story entirely

Or should I not ask to do this at all because is it weird?

exposure36 · 07-27-2008, 01:42 AM

just ask what are you doing afterwords and if he would like to go grab some food. why dont you ask him for his number? Oh maybe find something he is interested in and just build on that to open him up. Could work.

ItsxBillyx · 07-27-2008, 01:43 AM

Hmmm....
If he does have a boyfriend, your going to want to be careful.
Getting in the middle of it could cause some trouble.
He may not initially get upset with you for hanging out and
talking about that stuff, but should word get around to his boyfriend
about it, his boyfriend will probably chew him out about it.
And if that happens, he will most likely avoid you, just for fear
of getting involved in a conversation again and ruining things
with his boyfriend.

If you can keep it as strictly friendly and mere curiosity,
i doubt it would throw up any red flags to anyone.

Personally, just to avoid some sort of drama, id suggest
inviting him and his boyfriend out to dinner.
The 3 of you.
And then, maybe you could talk about things between
the both of them.
The only reason i recommend that is to avoid any sort of
harsh feelings in the long run between any of you.
And who knows, maybe you could all be friends?

If you still dont want to do that,
then maybe ask him, casually that is, to hang out
and catch a movie or go to the park as you said.
You just have to choose your words carefully with him since
he isnt single and all that.

guy0680 · 07-27-2008, 01:44 AM

Exposure, I have his number and we are already pretty decent friends, I would just like to get him alone to talk about stuff that we haven't been able to because of the people around us. Asking him to get something to eat would probably be good!

We are both gay, and he has said to me that he hasn't been able to have a gay guy friend ever because they always fall for him (I do have a crush on him too haha), so I don't want to make it seem like I'm asking him on a date.

ItsBilly, he does want me and his boyfriend to meet and hang out hes said. He started seeing this guy a bout a week? or so ago...which is 100% sexual, I haven't heard of them doing anything else, so I don't see it lasting THAT long myself. My friend even said "I don't know what we (me, him and his boyfriend) would do, because usually we are fucking." haha

Are two gay guys/lesbians hanging out together in the "gay community" as bad (for a boyfriends/girlfriends) as a straight guy and straight girl hanging out in the "straight community"?

07-27-2008, 01:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	How Should I Go About This? If you read my other thread you may know that I have recently come out to another gay person, with whom I'm in the process of getting to know. What I would really love to do is get him out of work (where there is no alone time) and to "have him to myself" to just talk to him about him, me, being gay, questions etc.. How do I ask him to do that? Tell him just what I said above?? I really don't care if we sit in his living room, sit in a park, talking while hes folding his laundry, etc. haha I just want to get to know him a little better. I don't want to make it sound like I'm asking him out on a date though, because he has a boyfriend (that's another story entirely Or should I not ask to do this at all because is it weird?

07-27-2008, 01:43 AM	#3 (permalink)
ItsxBillyx Official GTF Member Penguin Bashing Champion! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eastlake, Ohio Age: 16 Gender: Posts: 288	Hmmm.... If he does have a boyfriend, your going to want to be careful. Getting in the middle of it could cause some trouble. He may not initially get upset with you for hanging out and talking about that stuff, but should word get around to his boyfriend about it, his boyfriend will probably chew him out about it. And if that happens, he will most likely avoid you, just for fear of getting involved in a conversation again and ruining things with his boyfriend. If you can keep it as strictly friendly and mere curiosity, i doubt it would throw up any red flags to anyone. Personally, just to avoid some sort of drama, id suggest inviting him and his boyfriend out to dinner. The 3 of you. And then, maybe you could talk about things between the both of them. The only reason i recommend that is to avoid any sort of harsh feelings in the long run between any of you. And who knows, maybe you could all be friends? If you still dont want to do that, then maybe ask him, casually that is, to hang out and catch a movie or go to the park as you said. You just have to choose your words carefully with him since he isnt single and all that. __________________ MySpace it, boys! http://www.myspace.com/bdoggzplace Billy -16- -Gay- -Single ;]- "I took my love down to Violet Hill, There we sat in snow, All that time he was silent still, So if you love me, won't you let me know? If you love me, won't you let me know?"

07-27-2008, 01:44 AM	#4 (permalink)
guy0680 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Posts: 62	Exposure, I have his number and we are already pretty decent friends, I would just like to get him alone to talk about stuff that we haven't been able to because of the people around us. Asking him to get something to eat would probably be good! We are both gay, and he has said to me that he hasn't been able to have a gay guy friend ever because they always fall for him (I do have a crush on him too haha), so I don't want to make it seem like I'm asking him on a date. ItsBilly, he does want me and his boyfriend to meet and hang out hes said. He started seeing this guy a bout a week? or so ago...which is 100% sexual, I haven't heard of them doing anything else, so I don't see it lasting THAT long myself. My friend even said "I don't know what we (me, him and his boyfriend) would do, because usually we are fucking." haha Are two gay guys/lesbians hanging out together in the "gay community" as bad (for a boyfriends/girlfriends) as a straight guy and straight girl hanging out in the "straight community"? Last edited by guy0680; 07-27-2008 at 01:53 AM.

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07-27-2008, 01:42 AM	#2 (permalink)
exposure36 Official GTF Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: New york city Age: 15 Gender: Posts: 133	just ask what are you doing afterwords and if he would like to go grab some food. why dont you ask him for his number? Oh maybe find something he is interested in and just build on that to open him up. Could work.