StormOroro

i have met a guy online and i speak to him all the time over MSN. We have both seen each other on webcam and have sent pictures. The thing that adheres me too him is the way he makes me feel. He can make me feel a whole lot better about myself with just a few words. He has a great personality and i think i am starting to have feelings for him. Sounds great but the catch is he lives near London and i live near Birmingham, half way up the country from him. I could certainly go and visit him and i have no doubt we could have a good relationship but i don't want to hurt myself or him by starting something thats going to end in tears. so what shall i do? i could move down to London, closer to him but that would be a huge change in my life just for one person... how would i know it was going to work out? I can't decide on what to do so i would love to know what you guys thinks? help please!

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Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but too see who cares enough to knock them down.

killingloneliness

this happened to me once.

i dont kno how itll turn out 4 u, but 4 me, i turned out crying for hours and cutting myself when he told me that he never liked me

so before u do anything too permanent, make sure that u both really like eachother

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Adrastus

Online relationships are great and all, but I find when im online, I actually talk different, or at least it seems that way. You may get to meet him and person, and he'll be completely different. However it doesn't mean he's prince charming online, and then turns into the wicked witch in person, i'd imagine he is still your knight in shining armor. But I agree with killing, talking to him to see if he may have feelings for you would be the best way to attack it, or perhaps even try to set up a date to see each other, spend a day together, and go from there.

If you've never met him in real life, i wouldn't uproot and then settle down just for him, you don't know how he is going to react, or take it in. Getting to know people in person is MUCH different then getting to know them online.

Cheers mate,
Adrastus

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Never argue with idiots, in the end they will just beat you with their experience.

StormOroro

Thanks for the help, He is very nice and we talk over cam etc. all the time. I have been thinkig of moving to London anyway seeing as i travel there alot anyway but it's a big thing as i will have little to no support from family etc. I spoke to him 'in-depth' and he doesnt know what he wants which i think says it all. He's confused about his sexuality which i think will make this all the more ambiguous. I might go down and meet and see how it goes but if he doesnt know what he wants, should i put myself out to go see him? i could ruin a good friendship or it could make my year nevermind my day. I'm in two minds.

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Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but too see who cares enough to knock them down.

aafreund90

Well its understandable that you don't want to get hurt, but when ever you do its a learning experience. In my opinion you shouldn't move out there until you have gone on about 20 date or so. You should also wait for timing to take its effect. You will both know when its time to take the relationship to the next level. Just make sure you don't rush the relationship. Patience is a virtue.

Shinigami

Hey, I live in London too!! Give it a shot!!! It might work

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dragon072891

online encounters is the growing #1 way couples meet..... my bf and i met over mysapce many many months ago,,

im not saying its bad or good, but adrastus is right, people act VERY different online than in person, we, as humans, can choose to withhold emotions, or feelings that we dont want shown, that would easily be picked up on in a one to one conversation,,, when were online, we have time to think about the reply we would like to give, so it takes some of the "human element" out of the conversation

it could be an encounter of a lifetime, and you can end up very happy, or you could possibly end up crying in a corner because you got your hopes shot down

just make sure you protect yourself first mate, you will come out better in the end

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life is what you make it, it dose'nt come pre packaged,, so i say do a good job because your the only one that cant escape it

Mike

Gunna agree with dragon and adrastus on this one also.

Almost 3 years ago (shit .. has it been that long .. ) I met the coolest guy on a site similar to GovTeen (it's gone now, but he's still on GovTeen) because we were both into a specific robotics competition. We became really close friends and talked all the time; we are on other sides of the country. It went fast though .. WAY fast. We were both in the closet at the time, and shared views on a lot of things. We did eventually consider ourselves .. together.

Long story short, he dumped me and stopped talking to me. We ran into each other a year later (face to face) and it was REALLY awkward - he refuses to talk to me now, and it makes me sad. Suicide has come to my mind many times over this .. Up until about a month ago, I still wasn't over him. Things have finally gotten a little better for me, but I still have a lot of respect (and love for him).

My advice: Spend time with him before you do anything stupid. I would of rather spent $10,000 on plane tickets to fly back and forth to see him and find out how he really was instead of going through over 2 years now of pain and depression.

Just my 2 cents.

dragon072891

you ran into him in person??, what are the odds of that


but yea, PLEASE be careful, its safe to say, that you are cared about here on these forums, and im gonna tell you to do what you feel is the right thing, but before you act, stop and think, , it could save your life,, and it could be a new beginning.......

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life is what you make it, it dose'nt come pre packaged,, so i say do a good job because your the only one that cant escape it

rileycoyote

I love London, I think you should move there anyway, if things work out with this guy than great, but if they don't oh well at least you'll be in London where theres going to be more guys to meet than back in the shire.

StormOroro

wow omg guys thank you all for your concern. As an update i decided not to pursue it, I thought that it might just end up all in tears as he was so far and still unsure of his sexuality. I have been dumped before because my bf decided he was too unsure about his sexuality and couln no longer continue the relationship. I dont think i could take that risk again, unless they lived near by and i got to know them a whole lot better. As for moving to London i am still in 2 minds about it. I live in a rural community and to quote a famous comedian 'i'm the only gay in the village!' or thats how i feel anyway. I went out friday night and my friends tried to set me up with this guy called Danny but he didnt exactly float my boat and he looked like he smoked/drank way too much. I dunno if i was setting my standards too high or being too picky because of lack of choice but it didnt exactly float my boat. London however is a city of oppertunity and one i might thrive in, i know some people there so i wouldnt be alone. Its just a big thing to do, i shall consider doing it. Maybe London contains my soulmate... only one way to find out i guess

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Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but too see who cares enough to knock them down.