How Can He Think This Way?

Clint Face · 01-25-2008, 02:58 PM

I was talking a guy friend and they said something that bothered me... cause its just, how can they think that way.
He said something and i think, grrr... its bothering me though, so i must ask my friends... keep in mind hes not single... but thinks that wont last long... but maybe its that, that bothers me...
Do you believe that there is a soul mate for someone... i want to believe there is... i want one who wants me... and none other... one who would stand the tests of time... but he said that he doesn't think there is a forever for two people. He doesn't think that he ever get married... that there is no one that would last for him and he couldn't last for them. Its mistrust in them and others. Its nature to find a soul mate, you look to so tropic fish... they will go a life time in search. and when they find that one... they never leave each other. It doesn't matter the sex, if different or if they are the same it doesn't matter... even then sometimes threw natures miracles they will change for the other if thats what be. It love and natural, you find it in everything. Is There Not One Who Will Live To Love? If You Will... A Soul Mate?

Now i think that his odd thinking is due to his prior relationships, all really serious and lasting years at a time. Then also how his parents split up... things along those lines, just a whole lot of crap that hes had to deal with.... all this and more... if anyones taken any Psychology classes in college, you would understand my concern, these things are damaging... desensitizing. Kind of would make red flags if you were looking for a relationship... the question is can you reverse any of it.
I don't go into a relationship thinking it will last forever... but i do hope it will...
This boy, he dates seriously... but wouldn't that mean it would be pointless if hes not looking for it to last...

I think he should be happy and hope that he will be... and hope he finds someone to love him... i know its wrong, but i like him. I think its more than that, maybe ill get my chance to show him, maybe he may change. I don't want to get hurt... i don't think he would. This world is in lacking of decent men, and hes beyond that... if not for this little tweek. I've had some bad runs. i don't care, what should it do... hes with someone, they aren't happy, and i remain only a friend. ill be patient, i wont cringe on others chances.
If hes not with someone, he the same but rather a slut... and that could be bad.
grrr... *sigh*

Sorry i had to vent a little. If you have anything that you want to know more depth in just let me know... ill give a few more. Please Friends... Advise Me!

**Adrastus** · 01-25-2008, 03:08 PM

Ahah uh. Well i found that rather difficult to read but i think i understand it. Um, He obviously developed some issues on trust. And im going to guess that the majority of them were because of his parents splitting up. I mean divorce is a nasty thing to go through, he probably found his mom telling him stories about his dad he should never have known, and vice versa.. just because the parents can be spitefull. I mean I know one guy who found out that his mom was having an affair and his older brother wasn't actually from the same father.. so that is a HUGE impact.

He'll grow out of the trust issues, perhaps its just a phase. Best thing you could do is just monitor it, cater to his needs for now , make sure he doesn't do any really rash decisions. One day he will clue into it, we can only hope anyways. Also if you find he is in a relationship for a long time, and he might get feisty/restless over the fact that he's been with them too long, and they aren't suppose to be together , just try to convince him that he shouldn't do or say anything to make the other partner angry (thats probably what would happen).

That's just my two cents, i only read over it quickly. Also if you wanted to take it from another perspective, agree with him. And say "yes, there are only years or a certain time in which two people can be together. Some it will be 1-2 years... 1-2 months, perhaps just a one night stand. But did you ever think that there might be a 50 limit year on a certain relationship?" good chance.. if he's 20-30 years old (I know he isn't, hypothetically)... i mean they'll be 70-80.. good chance they won't live that long (sorry for being morbid) . .. . i'd say that is your best of making him realize this. I never even thought of it this way.. but it could make sense

Yay rants!

Czaro · 01-26-2008, 05:51 PM

Well, not everyone believes in a soul mate. Some people believe that a person is just more compatible than others. It's not such a mystery

Anyway, I think he might have had a relationship in the past that made him this way. He was probably in a serious relationship and he was hurt by his partner so badly that he develop these jaded ideas about love. It could also be that his parents' divorce caused him to be think this way like Adrastus said. The best thing to do right now is just to let him be; there will be someone that will change his mind about jaded love.

His ideas about that shouldn't really affect you much, that's just the way he thinks. In general, you shouldn't be bothered by what others think about the world. You won't be able to change a person, really. You could do it, but it's really, really hard.

Clint Face · 01-26-2008, 11:05 PM

its not really a mystery. i just find it hard to understand. love is not something i take for granite, a relationship means the world to me... that one individual. i think one of the most important purposes in this life if there be any, is to find just one... share and have them compliment your life, and you there's.

you have to understand i think i'm in love with him. i've been his friend for sometime and we have never had that chanced moment. we just have barely started to click if not long ago. but he went to Cali, things were set into perspective... but i think i would see him again. then he came back... and shows interest. i want to keep him, i want him to be happy.
if i can be or not, it really doesn't matter just want him to live. if i did get involved id be worried, it wouldn't show all that much but it would be eating at me a bit... i'm just another one you would leave. as i said I don't go into a relationship thinking it will last forever... but i do hope it will... i want as much time as i can get. any certain amount of time, if that be a year than ok, but i do hope it is longer. for they are the one i love.

its being two together... isnt that what its about.

i don't want to change him, hes perfect. if not for this one new tweek. i would still risk it for him, but i don't want to be just another. i don't know. i'm tired of being treated badly, as if nothing... i want to love and have love shown back. it just seems like i'm always the one in the relationships that tries yet only getting no where.
Do Any Of You Ever Feel This Way?

if you knew him before he left, then he came back again. and i mean if you really knew him now. you would know what he is to me.
Try To Remember That One That Meant The Most, Or Even Means The Most To You. That Would Be This Boy...

thank you Adrastus your point were quite helpful, it means alot.
Czaro you too...

Czaro · 01-26-2008, 11:39 PM

Maybe my comprehension is off but... is your friend gay or straight?

Clint Face · 01-26-2008, 11:59 PM

no you were fine... there is aways a bigger picture. and fault lies with me.

he is bi, but funny thing is he doesn't date girls... only has twice, not in a long time. he only really likes guys. thusly i think hes gay and is just figuring things out but, that is up to him... i dont really know, so hes bi.

01-25-2008, 02:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
Clint Face Official GTF Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Utah... thats all ill say... Age: 18 Gender: Posts: 53	How Can He Think This Way? I was talking a guy friend and they said something that bothered me... cause its just, how can they think that way. He said something and i think, grrr... its bothering me though, so i must ask my friends... keep in mind hes not single... but thinks that wont last long... but maybe its that, that bothers me... Do you believe that there is a soul mate for someone... i want to believe there is... i want one who wants me... and none other... one who would stand the tests of time... but he said that he doesn't think there is a forever for two people. He doesn't think that he ever get married... that there is no one that would last for him and he couldn't last for them. Its mistrust in them and others. Its nature to find a soul mate, you look to so tropic fish... they will go a life time in search. and when they find that one... they never leave each other. It doesn't matter the sex, if different or if they are the same it doesn't matter... even then sometimes threw natures miracles they will change for the other if thats what be. It love and natural, you find it in everything. Is There Not One Who Will Live To Love? If You Will... A Soul Mate? Now i think that his odd thinking is due to his prior relationships, all really serious and lasting years at a time. Then also how his parents split up... things along those lines, just a whole lot of crap that hes had to deal with.... all this and more... if anyones taken any Psychology classes in college, you would understand my concern, these things are damaging... desensitizing. Kind of would make red flags if you were looking for a relationship... the question is can you reverse any of it. I don't go into a relationship thinking it will last forever... but i do hope it will... This boy, he dates seriously... but wouldn't that mean it would be pointless if hes not looking for it to last... I think he should be happy and hope that he will be... and hope he finds someone to love him... i know its wrong, but i like him. I think its more than that, maybe ill get my chance to show him, maybe he may change. I don't want to get hurt... i don't think he would. This world is in lacking of decent men, and hes beyond that... if not for this little tweek. I've had some bad runs. i don't care, what should it do... hes with someone, they aren't happy, and i remain only a friend. ill be patient, i wont cringe on others chances. If hes not with someone, he the same but rather a slut... and that could be bad. grrr... sigh Sorry i had to vent a little. If you have anything that you want to know more depth in just let me know... ill give a few more. Please Friends... Advise Me! __________________ Clint... Oh Tangled Weaves In Web

01-25-2008, 03:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
Adrastus Global Moderator Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Eastern Canada Age: 18 Gender: Posts: 864	Ahah uh. Well i found that rather difficult to read but i think i understand it. Um, He obviously developed some issues on trust. And im going to guess that the majority of them were because of his parents splitting up. I mean divorce is a nasty thing to go through, he probably found his mom telling him stories about his dad he should never have known, and vice versa.. just because the parents can be spitefull. I mean I know one guy who found out that his mom was having an affair and his older brother wasn't actually from the same father.. so that is a HUGE impact. He'll grow out of the trust issues, perhaps its just a phase. Best thing you could do is just monitor it, cater to his needs for now , make sure he doesn't do any really rash decisions. One day he will clue into it, we can only hope anyways. Also if you find he is in a relationship for a long time, and he might get feisty/restless over the fact that he's been with them too long, and they aren't suppose to be together , just try to convince him that he shouldn't do or say anything to make the other partner angry (thats probably what would happen). That's just my two cents, i only read over it quickly. Also if you wanted to take it from another perspective, agree with him. And say "yes, there are only years or a certain time in which two people can be together. Some it will be 1-2 years... 1-2 months, perhaps just a one night stand. But did you ever think that there might be a 50 limit year on a certain relationship?" good chance.. if he's 20-30 years old (I know he isn't, hypothetically)... i mean they'll be 70-80.. good chance they won't live that long (sorry for being morbid) . .. . i'd say that is your best of making him realize this. I never even thought of it this way.. but it could make sense Yay rants! __________________ Never argue with idiots, in the end they will just beat you with their experience.

01-26-2008, 11:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
Clint Face Official GTF Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Utah... thats all ill say... Age: 18 Gender: Posts: 53	its not really a mystery. i just find it hard to understand. love is not something i take for granite, a relationship means the world to me... that one individual. i think one of the most important purposes in this life if there be any, is to find just one... share and have them compliment your life, and you there's. you have to understand i think i'm in love with him. i've been his friend for sometime and we have never had that chanced moment. we just have barely started to click if not long ago. but he went to Cali, things were set into perspective... but i think i would see him again. then he came back... and shows interest. i want to keep him, i want him to be happy. if i can be or not, it really doesn't matter just want him to live. if i did get involved id be worried, it wouldn't show all that much but it would be eating at me a bit... i'm just another one you would leave. as i said I don't go into a relationship thinking it will last forever... but i do hope it will... i want as much time as i can get. any certain amount of time, if that be a year than ok, but i do hope it is longer. for they are the one i love. its being two together... isnt that what its about. i don't want to change him, hes perfect. if not for this one new tweek. i would still risk it for him, but i don't want to be just another. i don't know. i'm tired of being treated badly, as if nothing... i want to love and have love shown back. it just seems like i'm always the one in the relationships that tries yet only getting no where. Do Any Of You Ever Feel This Way? if you knew him before he left, then he came back again. and i mean if you really knew him now. you would know what he is to me. Try To Remember That One That Meant The Most, Or Even Means The Most To You. That Would Be This Boy... thank you Adrastus your point were quite helpful, it means alot. Czaro you too... __________________ Clint... Oh Tangled Weaves In Web

01-26-2008, 11:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
Clint Face Official GTF Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Utah... thats all ill say... Age: 18 Gender: Posts: 53	no you were fine... there is aways a bigger picture. and fault lies with me. he is bi, but funny thing is he doesn't date girls... only has twice, not in a long time. he only really likes guys. thusly i think hes gay and is just figuring things out but, that is up to him... i dont really know, so hes bi. __________________ Clint... Oh Tangled Weaves In Web

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01-26-2008, 05:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
Czaro Official GTF Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Posts: 121	Well, not everyone believes in a soul mate. Some people believe that a person is just more compatible than others. It's not such a mystery Anyway, I think he might have had a relationship in the past that made him this way. He was probably in a serious relationship and he was hurt by his partner so badly that he develop these jaded ideas about love. It could also be that his parents' divorce caused him to be think this way like Adrastus said. The best thing to do right now is just to let him be; there will be someone that will change his mind about jaded love. His ideas about that shouldn't really affect you much, that's just the way he thinks. In general, you shouldn't be bothered by what others think about the world. You won't be able to change a person, really. You could do it, but it's really, really hard.

01-26-2008, 11:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
Czaro Official GTF Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Posts: 121	Maybe my comprehension is off but... is your friend gay or straight?